Some days are better than others ...

... today doesn't happen to be one of them. The sense of discontentment was there all day while at work. Something which has been there for all of the week actually but today was just much more apparent. On days like this, I prefer to stay at work as late as I can then come back and go straight to bed. Not that I have much of an option these days anyway. The euphoria of shifting out to a new place has died down to the realization of the work that needs to be done to make it habitable. currently its just a bed dumped in a room and thats it. Its too quiet, too lonely and too empty to be able to provide any other comfort except a bed to sleep in. Lack of internet only makes it worse, though I will hopefully get that done by tomorrow. I was planning to occupy my time by drilling a few holes in the walls and putting up a few things that need to be screwed in only to find out the drill machine I was so proud of doesn't work ... something wrong with its battery charger. There are things that need to be done and I just keep putting them off ... things at work, things at home, things to get, things for the future, just not in the frame of mind to do anything. Wish I was a compulsive busy body always needing something to do. My sinus problem isn't making things any easier either. The runny nose problem I've had since the last 11 years, in the past year and a half it has aggravated to the point that my nose feels swollen inside and hurts all the time and my head feels pressurized, and I have developed a persistant cough which I suspect is due to the cold settling into my lungs, and a bit of a sore throat too. It keeps me awake, wakes me up in the night, and makes it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Lying down and breathing simultaneously is become quite a chore. Need to go to a doctor, keep putting that off too.

On a good note, the countdown i started a little over 366 days ago has whittled down to nearly 338 days. I have managed to survive 28 days of it, albeit 18 of them where in Islamabad. Looking forward to the first month of the countdown on the 15th. Haven't achieved much in it though. Next milestone of course is when I go back to Islamabad end-February, and bring mom back with me for two months. Mom coming here is what I'm pinning my hopes on. Hopefully the two months of her being here will lift me out of the state of depressive discontentment and push me on to go through the remaining 8 months of the countdown with relative happiness. Even when she leaves for Islamabad after her pollen allergy period is safely over in early May. Time does pass quickly after all.