More Midnight Mayhem

(*) Welcome to the Next Level says (00:21):
my computer is on its way to depreciation
steampunk says (00:22):
computers are always on their way to depreciation
(*) Welcome to the Next Level says (00:22):
but this one 'was' good.
steampunk says (00:22):
mine's like 4 months old and already suffering with old age
(*) Welcome to the Next Level says (00:23):
u were fooled into buying an old one to begin with :/
steampunk says (00:23):
nah it's new
bechara can't cope with my computing practices
(*) Welcome to the Next Level says (00:23):
insane!
computers have feelings too
(*) Welcome to the Next Level says (00:24):
u can actually count them by opening task manager

Documented for Posterity

The best chussis are utter accidents ... and I solemnly believe that they should be documented! Here's an exchange, which took place on facebook, as always after 3am in the morning.

For those who don't understand Urdu, I've translated into English at the end of the post ... though that DOES take away the essence of it

What is a 'Chussi' you ask me?
Here is a wiki entry by one of the masters himself!

Without further ado ...


Ali is looking for some good spacious backpack. 1:39am - 23 Comments

Wajiha Said at 2:47am October 17

why? you wanna fit a body in it?

Adeel Rizvi at 2:50am October 17

no just himself :P

Wajiha Said at 2:52am October 17

phir tau normal size ka bhi chalay ga! -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 2:53am October 17

normal kyun? saath kuch aur bhi dalna hai? small sahi hai

Wajiha Said at 2:54am October 17

haan kya pata saath koi takiya hilaaf rakhna ho? sardi na lagay na!

Adeel Rizvi at 2:55am October 17

lol haan phir sahi hai. warna tao wallet seh bhi kaam chalaya ja sakta tha

Wajiha Said at 2:56am October 17

nahin wallet se nahin chal sakta! phir 5 rupay ka sikka kahan aaye ga! abhi note milna nahin shuru huay! state bank nikamma jo hai!

Mohsin Attaur Rehman at 2:58am October 17

becharay ne ek backpack lena tha .. sirf ek backpack :O

Adeel Rizvi at 3:02am October 17

haan so we are helping him decide ^_^

Wajiha Said at 3:03am October 17

yup yup -_-

Ali Mohsin at 3:18am October 17

@wajiha and rizvi:
mein saath mein aik dual-sim mobile pe le raha hun... sims tou hain nahin mere pass... tum donon ne fit hona hai uss mein?? :0

qasam se kitne wailay log ho!!! :P

Wajiha Said at 3:20am October 17

hum aa tau jayen par tumhara dual sim mobile nahin chalnay wala phir ... will be permanently corrupted -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 3:20am October 17

Ali Mohsin ghussa kar gaya hai. gandi chussiyon peh utar aya hai :P

Wajiha Said at 3:21am October 17

well yeh konsa kabhi achi chussiyon pe charha tha jo ab gandi chussion pe utray ga?

Adeel Rizvi at 3:23am October 17

lol true!

Ali Mohsin at 3:43am October 17

yeah for sure corrupt ho jaye ga... i forgot sim's slot mightl be a lil bigger for u ppl :P
and thanks for explaining me this inverted-bell-shape graph of chussi-meter!
3:45am!! and tomorrow... rather today is a working day :S

Adeel Tassawur at 11:56am October 17

sala aik backpack...aik backpack insaan ko ali-mohsin bana deta hai :P

Wajiha Said at 12:19pm October 17

Allah insaan ka maghphirat farmaye -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 12:25pm October 17

meaning Allah kuch bhi banay lakin Ali Mohsin na banay?

Wajiha Said at 12:28pm October 17

open to interpretation

Ali Mohsin at 4:31pm October 17

eyaar mutt preshaan ho iss baat per... :P
aik mein ne backpack ka lena hai... duniya tension mein aa gayee hai :|

Adeel Tassawur at 4:50pm October 17

i heard this would be the topic of next Obama /McCain debate

Wajiha Said at 12:30am October 18

what? optimum size of a backpack for Ali Mohsin? weren't they already researching it at CERN? pata hai tabhi tau large hadron collider kharab hua hai! they gave it this problem! a little too much for the machine's capacity!

Translation

Ali is looking for some good spacious backpack. 1:39am - 23 Comments

Wajiha Said at 2:47am October 17

why? you wanna fit a body in it?

Adeel Rizvi at 2:50am October 17

no just himself :P

Wajiha Said at 2:52am October 17

in that case a normal sized one will work too! -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 2:53am October 17

Why normal? Does he need to put something else in it as well? small would be better

Wajiha Said at 2:54am October 17
Yea what if he wants to keep a pillow or quilt etc as well? We don't want him to catch a cold!

Adeel Rizvi at 2:55am October 17

lol then its okay. Otherwise a wallet could have made do as well

Wajiha Said at 2:56am October 17

No a wallet wouldn't have worked! Where would the 5 rupee coin fit then? The new bank notes aren't available yet cuz state bank is useless!

Mohsin Attaur Rehman at 2:58am October 17

The poor guy only wanted to get a backpack ... just a backpack :O

Adeel Rizvi at 3:02am October 17

yea so we are helping him decide ^_^

Wajiha Said at 3:03am October 17

yup yup -_-

Ali Mohsin at 3:18am October 17

@wajiha and rizvi:
I'm also getting a dual-sim mobile ... I don't have sims ... but do you guys want to fit in it instead?? :0

Honestly how free are you!!! :P

Wajiha Said at 3:20am October 17
We don't mind coming but then your dual sim mobile is not going to work ... will be permanently corrupted -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 3:20am October 17
Ali Mohsin has gotten pissed off. Has come down to bad chussis :P

Wajiha Said at 3:21am October 17
Well as if he ever managed to move up to good chussis that he'd come down to bad chussis now?

Adeel Rizvi at 3:23am October 17

lol true!

Ali Mohsin at 3:43am October 17

yeah for sure it will be corruped ... i forgot sim's slot might be a lil bigger for u ppl :P
and thanks for explaining me this inverted-bell-shape graph of chussi-meter!
3:45am!! and tomorrow... rather today is a working day :S

Adeel Tassawur at 11:56am October 17

one damn backpack ... one backpack makes ali-mohsin out of a man :P

Wajiha Said at 12:19pm October 17

May god forgive the man -_-

Adeel Rizvi at 12:25pm October 17

meaning god creates you anything but Ali Mohsin?

Wajiha Said at 12:28pm October 17

open to interpretation

Ali Mohsin at 4:31pm October 17

buddy don't be stressed out over this ... :P
i just needed to get a backpack ... the entire world is in tension :|

Adeel Tassawur at 4:50pm October 17

i heard this would be the topic of next Obama /McCain debate

Wajiha Said at 12:30am October 18

what? optimum size of a backpack for Ali Mohsin? weren't they already researching it at CERN?
you know that is why the large hardon collider is not working! they gave it this problem! a little too much for the machine's capacity!

Rappy Crappy

Since I have started to post chats that stand solemn testament to the insanity of people who stay awake at night at ungodly hours, here is an excerpt from a recent one with Raptor. Raptor a.k.a. Ali Ibraheem Rashid, drama queen, king of absurdity and procrastination, an accomplished chussar and a phenomenon unto himself ...

13th September 2008

.....
.....
blitzkrieg says (01:35):
we'll send someone to pick u up
or wait is ur office in isloo or pindi?

. says (01:35):
yea it's in islamabad

blitzkrieg says (01:36):
kis sector mein?

. says (01:36):
g8

blitzkrieg says (01:36):
hmm and u work saturdays too?

. says (01:36):
nope
i donut

blitzkrieg says (01:37):
do u have a hole in ur tummy too? :P

. says (01:37):
:|
erm, the belly button? :/

blitzkrieg says (01:38):
lol no donut :P
like a thru and thru hole

. says (01:39):
oh, hmm, nai

blitzkrieg writes (01:41):


blitzkrieg says (01:41):
khekhekhe

. says (01:42):
:|

blitzkrieg says (01:44):
:D
this looks like a blueberry jelly donot

blitzkrieg says (01:45):
donut*

blitzkrieg says (01:58):
bleh?

. says (01:58):
blah?

.....
.....

. == raptor
blitzkrieg == me

Too much time, too little sleep, too late an hour, a sweet tooth and hard-wired-to-engineer mental circuits

This can potentially happen to you if you're up too late, sleep very less, chatting on googletalk with a friend who's essentially crazy and both of you have spent a big part of your life studying physics, mathematics and computer science ...

May 18th 2008

4:55 AM

I-T: hello

me: hio

I-T: what are you doing up at this godforsaken hour :)

me: trying to go to sleep

I-T: you're feeling sleepy
sleeeeeeeepy
look into the winding lollipop

me: my eyes feel itchy and gritty

4:56 AM

I-T: the red and white twirls inside the winding lollipop

me: hey u accept my request :D

I-T: the lollipop is rotating about a normal drawn out of the plane of the lollipop towards you

me: on facebook please please please please please :D

4:57 AM

I-T: The normal has something to do with the moment of centroid of the lollipop

4:58 AM

I-T: the electromagnetic field around the lollipop can be calculated by summing up the volumes of an infinte number of infinitesmal pie segments of the lollipop

me: okay shuttup :P

4:59 AM

I-T: you're sleepy arent you

me: i am

I-T: The inverted lollip law states that an inverted lollipop tied to a string can be used as a plumbline

5:00 AM

me: not if u have a very determined lolly pop lover attached to it
corollary one says: in that case hte lollipop can be used as a leash

5:01 AM

I-T: In that case by extension it becomes a heavier plumbline
:)

5:05 AM

I-T: If you embed two jellybear arcs on both the right and left sides of a lollipop and wind licorice tubing around the lollipop and pass molten chocolate through it, while the whole arrangement is enclosed within two Chocolate bricks of opposite polarity i.e. Dark and White, the reaction caused by the spinning of the lollipop actuator motor will cause rappie to appear, breakdance and go back to his room.

5:06 AM

me: wow!
there's an addendum to this one as well ....

5:07 AM

me: depending on the level of rappy's level of crankiness, the entire structure can disappear with him between breakdance and 'go back to his room'

5:08 AM

I-T: All the great Celestial bodies were once lollipops -- Arthur C. Clarke

me: hehe
what are u doing up this late waisay?

I-T: Until they had their sticks removed -- Albert Einstein
The milky way was once a chocolate factory -- Mr Higgins [Whats he doing here]

5:09 AM

me: lol

5:10 AM

I-T: Lollipops with sticks is an unnecessary wastage of resources, because in space nothing falls - - Stephen J. Hawking

me: how do sticks relate with falling
and where in lollipop-land are u finidng all tehse enlightening quotes?

5:11 AM

I-T: The answer seems to be simple, you lick the large celestial lollipops until they become smaller dwarf lollipops
"The best quotes here are the ones made up by me" -- The Narrator aka yours truly

5:12 AM

I-T: "I'm sacking you for your arrogance"-- The Narrators Manager
"But I love him" -- The Narrators Managers Daughter
"Thats it wheres my shotgun" -- The Narrators Manager
"Exit Stage left" -- The Narrator

5:13 AM

I-T: "But which way is relative in space" - Thomas Finnigan

me: "we want licorice" -- the stage bunnies

5:14 AM

I-T: "Sorry, A little typo there, hope you didnt publish my last quote, it was more like which way is left in space everything's relative" - Thomas Finnigan
"Bunnies are evil" -- Monty Python

me: "but they hold the secret of licorice" -- the dust bunny

5:15 AM

me: oh man i must sleep i got a headache

I-T: "No candy for you evil bunnies, you've had your share of mischief for one eon" -- Cheif Snuggums Official Bookkeeper of the Order of the Bunny Kickers

5:16 AM

I-T: "You better get to sleep little girl" - Nurse Freda [???]

me: "but knight googaham of the Order of the Bunny Kickers stole all the licorice and ate it in one night ... he had to be pulleyed out of his room afterwards, after removing the ceiling" -- Willikums, diplomat bunny

5:17 AM

I-T: "You lie, they all lie" -- Mongizumoid Head of Legal Affairs of the OBK

me: "and we dont' do mischief, some of our things just randomly explode, take this 5 legged chair for example ... *boom*" -- wonikins, technology bunny

5:18 AM

I-T: "For more information on evil acts commited by bunnies you shall have to watch Monty Python - The search for the Holy Grail" -- The Narrator

5:19 AM 

me: "I'm afraid wonikins will be unavailable till further notice, the explosion of the 5 legged chair has addled with his brain and he thinks he is a flying tortoise" -- winkadins, nurse bunny, gasping for breath while trying to restrain wonikins

addled his*

I-T: http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MID=367137231&MemberId=3951291356

me: time to sleep :) tomorrow is a long day!

5:20 AM

I-T: sure
take care
AH

me: you too
hehe what is this site?

I-T: dunno. It says that bunnies are evil
Anyways I'm off
ciao
AH

5:21 AM

me: sure
AH :)

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Handler being INvoked
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5:22 AM

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